23 Important Adult Truths

1.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3
consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2.

Nothing sucks
more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're
wrong.

3.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.

4.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.

How
the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.

Was learning
cursive really necessary?

7.

Map Quest really needs to start their
directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of
tired.

10.

Bad decisions make good stories.

11.

You never know
when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you
just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to
have to restart my collection...again.

13.

I'm always slightly terrified
when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

15.

I think the freezer deserves a light as
well.

16.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday
or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17.

I
wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18.

I have a hard
time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19.

How many
times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you
still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20.

I love the sense of
camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting
in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21.

Shirts get
dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them
forever.

22.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23.
The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first
helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize
that their brain is also important.